August 18, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	11
Benchwarmers	9

On a night that Absolut Crap welcomed Dave Velazquez
to the team, we started the season on a good note.  Dave
has subbed for Crap in the past, but made his official
debut at Benchwarmer's last night.  We look forward
to Ben Varick's first night next Wednesday.  Despite
rusty darts for both teams, it was a competitive match
that went down to the last game of 601.

SINGLES
Eric swept Mark J.
Andrew edged Dan, Dan the Packer fan 2-1.
Dave was shut out by Mark B.
Melissa lost 2-1 to Jeff.
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	5
	Benchwarmers	5

DOUBLES
Andrew & Eric won 2-0.
Dave and Melissa lost 2-1.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	3
	Benchwarmers	2

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 3-2.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	11
	Benchwarmers	9

Highlights
It was a historic night for Absolut Crap.  Not only
did we extend our streak for consecutive seasons in
the Tallahassee Dart League, but some new and old
faces made appearances.  Melissa, a former member
of Crap re-joined us, and played well.  Dave made his
debut, and for the first time ever, Crap's sponsor cheered
us on.  Bill, of Longhorn Steakhouse, watched us get the
season off to a good start.  It was sad to play without a
founding Crapster, Marty, and we will certainly miss Tony,
(both left for greener pastures) but Crap will march on
with our new members.

Bonus Points:
Andrew, Dave and Eric had 4.
Melissa had 1.

August 25, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	10
Hobbit Hoagie	10

Unfortunately, I was unable to attend the dart match due
to a prior commitment to coach a baseball game.  Luckily,
Melissa was available to play for the second week in a row
due to a Crap no-show. Since I didn't see or play in the match, I
can only report the outcomes -- no commentary.

SINGLES
Eric beat Dave 2-1.
Ben made his Crap debut, beating Melissa 2-0.
Dave fell to Scott in two games.
Melissa lost 2-0 to Kelly.
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	4
	Hobbit Hoagie	5

DOUBLES
Eric & Melissa won 2-1.
Dave and Ben lost 2-1.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	3
	Hobbit Hoagie	3

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 3-2.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	10
	Hobbit Hoagie	10

Highlights
It was nice to see that one of our newest members, Ben,
played and won his match.  The tie preserves our
undefeated record (1-0-1) for another week.  We play
Christy & the Mechanics at Poor Paul's next week.

Bonus Points:
No report this week.

September 1, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	9
Christy & the Mechanics	11

For the second week in a row, the captain was a no-show.
Actually, this week I made it to 601, but missed singles and
doubles due to a fantasy football draft that I attended.  Marty
graciously substituted for us in singles, and Melissa covered
for Crap in doubles.  When I arrived we were losing by only
3 points, and closed to within two before suffering our first
loss of the season.

SINGLES
Eric fell to Bill in two games.
Ben beat Christy 2-0.
Dave couldn't manage a victory against Leroy.
Marty picked up a point for Crap versus Erik.
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	3
	Christy & the Mechanics	6

DOUBLES
Eric & Melissa lost 2-1.
Dave and Ben won 2-1.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	3
	Christy & the Mechanics	3

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 3-2.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	9
	Christy & the Mechanics	11

Highlights
Crap has won all three 601 matches this season by a 3-2 score.
If we can continue to be successful in this event, we should begin
to climb back in the trophy race as we expect to start fielding a
full team.  Next week when we play one of our arch-rivals the
Breaker Babes at the Salty Dawg.

Bonus Points:
Dave had 3.
Ben had 2.
Eric, Marty, and Andrew had 1.

September 8, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	11
Breaker Babes	6

Everything went in Crap's favor last night until the team
601 match.  For the first time this season, the entire team
was intact, and able to play the entire night.  This paid
off early as Crap jumped to an 11-2 lead before stumbling
in 4-man.  Crap, who dined earlier at their sponsor's
establishment, was in 3rd place before the match.  The
Breaker Babes had been in 1st.

SINGLES
Eric beat Tracey in in two.
Andrew took out Beth 2-0.
Dave swept Duski.
Ben lost to Marilyn 2-1.
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	7
	Breaker Babes	2

DOUBLES
Eric & Dave won 2-0.
Andrew & Ben won 2-0.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	4
	Breaker Babes	0

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap lost 4-0.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	11
	Breaker Babes	6

Highlights
Although the night ended somewhat disappointingly, the victory
was much needed.  An 11-6 victory over the Breaker Babes
is very sweet considering some of the great matches over the
years that the two teams have played, with Crap on the losing
end of many of these.  Crap played very well in singles and
doubles last night, and really didn't do terribly in 601.  The babes just
outplayed us in 4-man to make their loss respectable.  Some sad
news ... Melissa's on-again, off-again, affair with Crap seems to
be off-again.  Luckily, she will still support us with her presence.

Bonus Points:
No report on the bonus points at this time although I know Andrew
had a 116 out.

September 15, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	11
Tike & Stevie	8

11's were lucky again for Crap.  Each of the 3 times that
Crap has scored 11, we've won.  This week was a slow,
methodical victory for Crap.  We outscored Tike & Stevie
by one point in each of the 3 events for the final margin.
Each time at the Breakroom, Crap is treated to extracurricular
activities .... it used to be bingo at the Breakroom, last year
we had a shuffleboard tournament, tonight was aerobic
workout night.  Due to the stage set across the dart runway,
you had to step up about a foot to get to the dartboard.  We
got used to it after a while, but it was awkward at first.

SINGLES
Eric swept Stephen with a "ph".
Dave beat Mike in both games.
Andrew managed only a game against Auburn Jackie.
Ben fell to Taylor 2-0.
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	5
	Tike & Stevie	4

DOUBLES
Eric & Andrew won 2-0.
Dave & Ben lost 2-1.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	3
	Tike & Stevie	2

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 3-2.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	11
	Tike & Stevie	8

Highlights
Crap played respectfully, but well below our potential.
The only highlight for Andrew was his dart broke on the
stage after glancing off the light overhang, then bouncing off the
needed double twenty.  The dart broke in half, and Andrew
had to play with a spare dart until Ben could somehow dislodge
the shaft.  Andrew went on to win only one game in the match.
Eric and Dave paced Crap in singles, then Eric and Andrew
pulled us through in doubles, then Ben lead the way in 601.
Overall, we'll take the win, and look forward to next week
against Salty Dawg II.

Bonus Points:
Andrew had 4.
Dave had 3.
Eric had 2.

September 22, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	12
Salty Dawg II	9

Absolut Crap extended their record to 4-1-1 with a three
point victory over Division IIB foe, Salty Dawg II.  It
wasn't a pretty win, but we're happy to have it none-the-less.
Each member except our substitute played lessor ranked darters,
Andrew and Eric both lost.  Our sub for Ben was Sean --
and he joined Dave in singles victory.  After falling behind by
one in singles, Crap mustered a tie in doubles, and thankfully
swept 601 to win by 3.

SINGLES
Dave took Donna out in three games.
Sean won over Karen 2-1.
Eric lost to David 2-1
Andrew was swept by Joe.
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	5
	Salty Dawg II	6

DOUBLES
Dave & Andrew won 2-1.
Eric & Sean lost 2-1.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	3
	Salty Dawg II	3

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 4-0.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	12
	Salty Dawg II	9

Highlights
In Salty Dawg's home establishment, Crap prevailed
in a close match.  Crap continues to build character --
hanging tough, and winning late in the match.  After
Crap was behind by a point going into 601, we found
ourselves trailing by 300 points in the first game.  Knowing
that a loss would ruin our chances for victory, Crap
rebounded and pulled out the win.  We also won the
second game -- no comeback needed.  Sean, our sub,
was critical in our victory -- he doubled out in both games.
Crap plays the other Salty Dawg at the Breakroom next week.

Bonus Points:
Andrew and Eric had 5.
Dave and Sean had 2.

September 29, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	11
Salty Dawg I	7

Absolut Crap travelled back to the Breakroom to play
Division 2B foe Salty Dawg I.  Crap wins in a game much
closer than the score.  Eric had a career night, tallying 11
bonus points.  It's a shame that Andrew could only watch
this performance with one good eye, as he sustained a
foreign object lodged in the eye injury during the day.  He
was, however, able to use this as an excuse during the match.
It's always fun playing SD I, as they are gracious opponents --
but also, Sheila always supplies the cigars at the end
of the match.

SINGLES
Eric beat Sheila 2 to zip.
Dave topped Patsy in two games.
Andrew edged Dave 2-1
Ben was swept by Gladys.
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	6
	Salty Dawg I	3

DOUBLES
Dave & Eric won 2-0.
Andrew & Ben lost 2-0.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	2
	Salty Dawg I	2

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 3-2.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	11
	Salty Dawg I	7

Highlights
Crap runs their record to an impressive 5-1-1 which
may be the best start in Crap history.  Eric dominated
last night and set the modern day Crap record with 11
bonus points.  Andrew still holds the all-time record
with 12, which he got when he used to be able to throw
darts.  Despite Eric's performance, Crap was staring
straight in the eyes of defeat mid-way through the 601
match.  Crap had dropped the first game making the
score 8-7.  We rallied in the second game to secure
the victory, and won the decisive 3rd game for the
final margin.

Bonus Points:
Eric had 11.
Andrew had 4.
Dave had 3.
Ben had 1.

October 6, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	7
Tike & Stevie	14

Absolut Crap fell hard to a much improved Tike & Stevie
team at the Capital Pub last night.  T&S picked up an
"A" darter off the waiver wire, and rode his coattails to
a blow-out victory over a stunned Crap team.  Crap,
who had only lost one other time this season, felt confident
going into 601 trailing by only 3 points.  But T&S swept
the four man match to achieve the final margin of 7.

SINGLES
Andrew topped Jackie 2-1.
Ben managed a game over Taylor.
Eric won once in a match against Rick.
Dave lost in two to Mike.
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	4
	Tike & Stevie	7

DOUBLES
Andrew & Dave lost 2-1.
Eric & Ben won 2-1.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	3
	Tike & Stevie	3

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap lost 4-0.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	7
	Tike & Stevie	14

Highlights
The 601 magic ran out last night for Crap whose
record falls to 5-2-1 for the season.  Crap had only
lost one other 601 match during the season, but ran
into a buzz saw against Tike & Stevie.  T&S looked
like professionals doubling in and out last night in the
final match.  Crap fell behind early, losing by 3 in
singles, but seemed to be making our usual turnaround --
tying the doubles match 3-3, and were ready to sweep
the 601 match for a 1 point victory.  That's when the buzz
saw caught us.  Crap fell hard in 601, and that should be
reflected in next week's standings.  Fortunately, we still
have plenty of matches left in the season (once more with
Tike & Stevie).

Bonus Points:
Andrew had 5.
Eric, Dave, and Ben had 1.

October 13, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	12
Breaker Babes	8

After a blowout loss last week, Absolut Crap regrouped
and pulled out a close battle with the pink ladies.  Crap
returned to their old stomping grounds (The West End)
because Benchwarmers closed their doors permanently.
Apparently this had nothing to do with the fact that
they withdrew their sponsorship to Crap 2 seasons ago.

SINGLES
Andrew ousted the league president, Tracey 2-1.
Eric won over the newly engaged Beth 2-1.
Dave took a game from Marilyn.
Ben managed a game from Duski.
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	6
	Breaker Babes	6

DOUBLES
Andrew & Ben lost 2-0.
Eric & Dave won 2-0.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	2
	Breaker Babes	2

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 4-0.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	12
	Breaker Babes	8

Highlights
Once again the match came down to 601 to
decide the winner.  Last week Crap was swept,
this week we did the sweeping.  The Breaker Babes
were determined to make a better showing this time
against a downtrodden Crap foursome.  And they
were on the verge of a victory after tying singles and
doubles.  But, Crap pulled together in the 4-man and
managed a 4 point victory.   The beginning of the first game
of 601 set the tone as Eric doubled in, Andrew knocked
down a ton, and Ben followed with a 140.  The win
assures that we'll remain in second place.

Bonus Points:
Eric had 4.
Andrew had 3.
Ben had 2.

October 20, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	5
The Benchwarmers	14

While Andrew was out enjoying dinner and a movie
with his wife for her birthday, Crap was getting their
butts handed to them.  We thank Dave O for
substituting, hopefully this experience won't cause
him to give up darts permanently.  I wasn't there
to witness the match, but it looked like Crap made
a respectable showing in doubles and four-man
after being swept in singles.

SINGLES
Eric was swept by Dan.
Dave was swept by Mark.
Dave O. was swept by Andy.
Ben was swept by Bear.
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	0
	The Benchwarmers	8

DOUBLES
Eric and Ben won 2-1.
Dave & Dave lost 2-1.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	3
	The Benchwarmers	3

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap lost 3-2.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	5
	The Benchwarmers	14

Highlights
Andrew hated to let Crap down by scheduling the
date with his wife, but it was done out of future
considerations.  Dave O did well as our substitute,
and it appeared that the Benchwarmers were on
fire.  Next week we go up against the first placed
Christy & the Mechanics.  We need to make a
good showing in that match to hold onto at least
second place.

Bonus Points:
Eric had 3.
Dave O. had 2.
Ben and Dave V. had 1.

October 27, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	10
Christy & the Mechanics	9

Absolut Crap defeated the top ranked Christy
and the Mechanics by a point last night at the
Salty Dawg.  The Mechanics are responsible for
one of Crap's 3 losses on the year, so Crap feels
somewhat vindicated with the win.  The night was
full of mixed emotions as the Braves lost another
World Series just as Crap was finishing off a great
comeback upset victory.

SINGLES
Eric downed Bill in two games.
Dave was able to squeek by Erik 2-1.
Ben managed a point against Trinka.
Andrew lost both games to Leroy.
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	5
	Christy & the Mechanics	5

DOUBLES
Eric and Andrew lost 2-1.
Dave & Ben lost 2-0.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	1
	Christy & the Mechanics	4

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 4-0.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	10
	Christy & the Mechanics	9

Highlights
Crap, behind Eric's modern-day-record-tying 11 bonus
points, came back from a miserable doubles round to
sweep the Mechanics in 601 and take the match by a
point (Andrew still holds the all time record with 12).
Eric scored bonus points early and often, beating their
"A" ranked player in singles.  Ben doubled-in for
Crap in both games -- the first taken out by Andrew
with a double bull, and the second won by Eric.  Dave
helped Crap keep it even in singles with a 2-1 win.

Bonus Points:
Eric had 11.
Andrew had 1.

November 3, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	14
Andre's Attitude	5

Absolut Crap won their 8th match of the season
last night against Andre's Attitude (the team
formally known as Benchwarmers II).  On a
chilly night in Tallahassee, Crap downed the
division 2B, Attitude at Poor Paul's by jumping
to a comfortable lead in singles, escaping doubles,
and again sweeping the 601 games.

SINGLES
Eric swept Nicole.
Dave beat Rebecca in two games.
Ben took out Beth in two out of three games.
Andrew lost to Andrew 2-1.  (ahh, but which Andrew won? .... guess).
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	7
	Andre's Attitude	3

DOUBLES
Eric and Andrew won 2-0.
Dave & Ben lost 2-1.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	3
	Andre's Attitude	2

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 4-0.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	14
	Andre's Attitude	5

Highlights
Crap continues to play well, and should remain in
second place after the drubbing of Andre's Attitude.
Andrew will again be out next week due to some
travelling, but the team seems to be on an upswing --
hopefully we'll continue this against the Breaker
Babes next week.  Crap continues to dominate in
601, where each team member contributes.  The
singles and doubles matches were acceptable last
night, but must be improved on to make a rush on
first place -- or even hold off the competition for second.

Bonus Points:
Ben had 5.
Eric had 3.
Andrew had 2.
Dave had 1.

November 10, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	2
Breaker Babes	14

No summary available for this match

November 17, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	6
Tike & Stevie	11

After Absolut Crap fell hard last week in
Andrew & Ben's absence, we lost a match
much closer than the score with all Crapsters
in attendence this week.  Crap kept within
a point of T&S through singles and doubles,
but lost both games of the team match.

SINGLES
Andrew took out Mike in 2.
Dave beat Jackie 2-1.
Eric was beaten by Rick in both games.
Ben lost to Taylor 2-0.
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	4
	Tike & Stevie	5

DOUBLES
Eric and Andrew lost 2-0.
Dave & Ben won 2-0.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	2
	Tike & Stevie	2

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap lost 4-0.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	6
	Tike & Stevie	11

Highlights
Crap played well against a very tough opponent, but
in the end lost ground on a potential trophy.  Crap
had fallen to 4th place coming into the evening, and
will probably remain there.  The battle for 2nd and
3rd place is Crap's goal this year and we still have
a chance for either of these.  We'll take next week
off for the Thanksgiving holiday, then play Salty
Dawg III at the Salty Dawg.

Bonus Points:
Dave had 4.
Eric and Andrew had 3.
Ben had 1.

December 1, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	15
Salty Dawg III	4

Absolut Crap came out firing on the 1st day
of the last month of the second to last year
of the second millenium AD.  Everything was
in Crap's favor after the week off.  Crap was
playing a division 2B foe who only fielded
3 players.  SDIII played well considering the
circumstances, and nearly made the match
much closer, but Eric had another career night
to lead Crap past the upstart Dawgs.

SINGLES
Eric beat Jim 2-1.
Dave won 2 of the 3 games against Sean.
Ben swept Rob.
Andrew won 2 by default.
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	8
	Salty Dawg III	2

DOUBLES
Eric and Ben won 2-0.
Andrew & Dave lost 2-1.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	3
	Salty Dawg III	2

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 4-0.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	15
	Salty Dawg III	4

Highlights
In a very chilly night in Tallahassee, Crap was red
hot.  Especially our co-captain, Eric, who announced
his retirement effective at the end of the season.  Eric tied
the Absolut Crap modern day record in bonus points with
10 for the third time this season.  Dave & Ben also played
well, and Crap won all of the singles matches.  The win will
hopefully propel Crap back into the trophy hunt.

Bonus Points:
Eric had 10.
Dave had 3.
Ben and Andrew had 1.

December 8, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	11
Benchwarmers	9

In a match tinged with trophy implications,
Crap nearly blew an opportunity at redemption
against the fiesty Benchwarmers team who smoked Crap
14-5 in October.  Despite disappointing efforts by
the two B+ darters and a near collapse in team 601,
Crap pulled out the important 2 point victory.  Crap
pulled out ahead behind clutch wins by Ben, Dave,
and Andrew, held their breath though a close doubles
match, and came back firing after dropping the first
game in four-man.

SINGLES
Andrew swept Mark.
Dave clubbed the Bear 2-1.
Ben beat Andy in three.
Eric fell to Dan, Dan the Packer fan in both games.
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	6
	Benchwarmers	4

DOUBLES
Dave and Ben won 2-1.
Eric & Andrew lost 2-0.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	2
	Benchwarmers	3

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 3-2.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	11
	Benchwarmers	9

Highlights
The match came down to a strange battle in 601.  Crap
lost the first game soundly to temporarily lose the lead 9-8.
In the second game, the Benchwarmers opened another
big lead, and it appeared that Crap was destined to fall
11-8.  But, Crap never gave up, and the Benchwarmers
fell apart.  Crap won the second game in a dramatic
comeback fashion, and went on to take the 3rd game for the
final margin.  The win keeps Crap in trophy contention that
will be decided next week in the final match of the millenium.

Bonus Points:
Eric had 3.
Dave, Ben, and Andrew had 1.

December 15, 1999
 

Absolut Crap	5
Christy & the Mechanics	12

Crap finishes the Fall 1999 campaign in disappointing
fashion -- falling by 7 points to the first placed Christy
and the Mechanics.  We began the evening strong, but
fell apart in doubles and 601.  The loss nearly guarantees
that Crap will not qualify for a third place trophy this
season.  On a positive note, we ended with a 10-6-1
record, which was one of the better win/loss record
in Crap history.

SINGLES
Andrew lost both games to Bill.
Eric lost 2-0 to Erik.
Ben swept Christy.
Jeff beat Leroy 2-0.
 

Singles Score:	Absolut Crap	4
	Christy & the Mechanics	4

DOUBLES
Dave and Ben lost 2-0.
Eric & Andrew lost 2-1.
 

Doubles Score:	Absolut Crap	1
	Christy & the Mechanics	4

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap lost 4-0.
 

FINAL SCORE:	Absolut Crap	5
	Christy & the Mechanics	12

Highlights
Crap couldn't pull out the last minute heroics that we've
grown accustomed to this season.  We were within
striking distance after the doubles match, but couldn't
hit the double-outs, and were swept in 601.  We'll find
out later when & where the end-of-the-season party
is, but the odds are not in our favor to collect any hardware.
The next millenium will bring more changes to the team.
Eric has already announced his retirement effective at the
conclusion of this season.  His replacement will be
found soon.  As for the other Crapsters, time will tell
if the spirit is still there for a run at the title next season.

Bonus Points:
Andrew & Dave had 2.