Match Archive

Fall 1997

Week 1     Absolut Crap vs. Troubleshooters                                      14-6  (W)
Week 2     Absolut Crap vs. Comfortably Numb                                   8-9   (L)
Week 3     Absolut Crap vs. 9 MM                                                  11-10  (W)
Week 4     Absolut Crap vs. New York Strippers                               4-16   (L)
Week 5     Absolut Crap vs. Diamonds in the Rough                           2-16   (L)
Week 6     Absolut Crap vs. Hoagie Express Thompson Gunners       12-8   (W)
Week 7     Absolut Crap vs. Lofty Pursuit's Sudsuckers                    10-10   (T)
Week 8     Absolut Crap vs. Lofty Pursuit's Sudsuckers                      10-9   (W)
Week 9     Absolut Crap vs. Comfortably Numb                                 11-9   (W)
Week 10   Absolut Crap vs. 9 MM                                                    10-9   (W)
Week 11   Absolut Crap vs. New York Strippers                               5-14    (L)
Week 12   Absolut Crap vs. Diamonds in the Rough                            9-9     (T)
Week 13   Absolut Crap vs. Hoagie Express Thompson Gunners        13-6   (W)
Week 14   Absolut Crap vs. Troubleshooters                                       8-11   (L)

August 20, 1997

A revamped Absolut Crap stormed into the Fall season by troubling the
Troubleshooters 14-6.  An undermanned opponent captained by Tim Wharton
fell behind early and were never able to recover.  The evening started
amidst controversy as Al Hutton's Sub World was not expecting the dart
season to begin this week. After agreeing to host the match, they were
very cooperative throughout the evening.  Troubleshooters, meanwhile, had
problems of their own.  One of the team members was uable to be there
until 9:30, and the arranged substitute was a no-show.  This put them
at a disadvantage in singles and doubles.

SINGLES
Andrew beat the budding youngster, Josh, 2 - 0.
Brian beat team captain, Tim, 2-1
Marty beat Dave 2-1
Nancy won by default 2-0

Singles Score:  Absolut Crap    8
                        Troubleshooters 2
DOUBLES
Andrew and Tara lost a heartbreaking match to Josh and Dave 2-1
Brian and Nancy beat Tim 2-0

Doubles Score:  Absolut Crap    3
                         Troubleshooters 2
TEAM 601
Absolut Crap won 3-2

FINAL SCORE:
Absolut Crap       14
Troubleshooters     6

Highlights
This was Tara's first league match.  She did very well considering this.
In fact, she hit a double one to win the first 601 game.

Andrew scored 10 bonus points, none of them were multiple points.

Brian hit 2 bonus points including 3 bulls to win a doubles game.

I think that we had a very good first week even though the opponent only
had three players for much of the match.  I definately look forward to
a much better season than the summer.

August 27, 1997

Absolut Crap were "numbed" into a false sense of security coming into the
match against Comfortably Numb.  After losing 16-0 last week, the Numb
ladies regrouped and won a tight match against Crap.

SINGLES
Andrew beat his co-worker, Carin, 2 - 0.
Brian, feeling a bit ill, lost to Michelle 2-0
Marty, slow to warm up lost to Lou 2-0
Tara, in her 1st singles match, lost to Sarah 2-0

Singles Score:  Absolut Crap     2
                Comfortable Numb     6
DOUBLES
Andrew and Nancy took two from Michelle and Lou
Brian and Marty took both games against Sarah and Maryline

Doubles Score:  Absolut Crap     4
                Comfortably Numb       0
TEAM 601
Comfortably Numb won 3-2

FINAL SCORE:
Absolut Crap             8
Comfortably Numb   9

Highlights
We shot very well in doubles, winning all 4 games.  We won the first 601
game by more than 250 points, but fell apart and lost the next two.

Andrew scored 3 bonus points, including a 140, barely missing a ton-eighty.

Brian hit 2 bonus points for the second consecutive week.

Nancy and Tara each picked up a bonus point.

I was a little dissappointed in our singles effort, but we were able to
fight back, and took a temporary lead late in the match.  I guess everyone
was just a little excited tonight because Kim and I just bought a new car.

September 3, 1997

Absolut Crap started fast, and held on to beat 9 MM during picture
night at Shuckers.  Photos will be added to this web page as soon
as they become available.

SINGLES
Andrew lost his first singles game of the year, but beat Bruce, 2 - 1.
Brian thwarted Froggy's attempt at victory, winning 2 - 1.
Marty was robbed, but still managed to beat Rob, 2 - 1.
Nancy, still undefeated this season, beat Dave 2 - 0.

Singles Score:  Absolut Crap     8
                         9MM                 3
DOUBLES
Andrew and Tara lost a close match to Bruce and Dave, 2 - 1.
Brian and Marty were all over Rob and Froggy 2 - 1.

Doubles Score:  Absolut Crap     3
                        9 MM                   3
TEAM 601
9 MM won 4 - 0 (ouch!)

FINAL SCORE:
Absolut Crap      11
9 MM                 10

Highlights
The singles matches were our highlights tonight.  Tara threw well in doubles,
but her partner didn't give her any help.  Bruce overwhelmed Crap in 601.  He
lead everyone with 8 bonus points.

Brian and Marty had 2 bonus points apiece.

Andrew and Nancy each scored one.  (Nancy hit 3 bulls to end a singles game).

I felt a blowout was in order after singles, but 9MM shot well in 601 to
earn a very respectable 1 point loss.  We are getting fired up to take
on former Crapsters, Eric and Melissa next week.  Tickets are on sale now!

September 10, 1997

It was a tale of good news and bad news for Absolut Crap last night.  Wait -
now that I think about it -  it was all bad news.  The New York Strippers
stripped us down, drug us to the junkyard, and sold us as scrap metal.
The ugly final score was 16-4 in favor of the Strippers.

SINGLES
Andrew lost to his former understudy, Eric, 2 - 1.
Brian was so fired up about the Buc's undefeated start that he lost 2 - 1 to Mike.
Marty did his impression of Costa Rica getting shutout by Jackie 2 - 0
(Actually, there was more offense in this match).
Tara lost the battle of the rookies 2 - 1 to Stephanie.

Singles Score:  Absolut Crap     3
                NY Strippers               8
DOUBLES
Andrew and Marty fell to Eric and Mike 2 - zip.
Brian and Nancy lost respectably 2 - 1 to Jackie and Melissa.

Doubles Score:  Absolut Crap     1
                NY Strippers                 3
TEAM 601
NY Strippers won 4 - 0 (ouch!)

FINAL SCORE:
Absolut Crap       4
NY Strippers      16

Highlights
The match seemed alot closer than the score.  Most of the games could
have gone either way.  Of course, all losers say that.  Eric led everyone
with 8 bonus points.

Andrew ended with 4 bonus points.

Nancy, Brian, and Marty had one apiece.

It has to get better next week against Diamonds in the Rough.  But DNR
has already posted a 16-0 score this year.  Crap has scheduled an intense
practice Friday night at Taylor Field.  Look for Brady to rally his troops
to avoid a mid-season slump.

September 17, 1997

Diamonds were not Crap's best friend this week, as the 1st place Diamonds
in the Rough took Crap from their peaceful environment, broken them down
with pickaxes, and grinded them into mere dust.  Thank the dart gods that
I was in Atlanta and unable to witness the 16-2 drubbing by the Rough Ladies.

SINGLES
Brian lost 2-0.
Marty lost 2-0.
Tara lost 2-0.
Nancy lost 2-1.

Singles Score:  Absolut Crap     1
       Diamonds in the Rough       8

DOUBLES
Marty and Tara fell 2-0.
Brian and Nancy lost respectably 2 - 1.

Doubles Score:  Absolut Crap     1
       Diamonds in the Rough        4

TEAM 601
Diamonds in the Rough won 4 - 0 (ouch!)

FINAL SCORE:
Absolut Crap                    2
Diamond in the Rough  16

Highlights
It was encouraging to learn that Nancy took one game in singles and one
in doubles with Brian.  Brian wrote a more elaborate recap of the evening,
and sent it to Atlanta, but it was lost.  Crap looks to  break a 2 week
slump against nemesis Thompson Gunners next week.

September 24, 1997

Crap decapitated the  Gunners last night in a hard fought 12-8 victory.
It appeared that the Hoagie Express Thompson Gunners were going to use
the home field to their advantage, but Crap hit big on the 601 games, and
pulled out a much needed victory.

SINGLES
Andrew was swept by fellow B+ darter, John.
Marty was the man, beating Clay 2-1.
Brian fell in a close match to Greg 2-1.
Nancy whooped up on the Gunner web reporter, Damon 2-1.

Singles Score:  Absolut Crap     5
            Thompson Gunners        6

DOUBLES
Andrew and Tara were victims of a faulty bulls-eye (and good shooting by
John and Damon) and lost 2-1.
Brian and Marty were all over Clay and Greg 2-0.

Doubles Score:  Absolut Crap     3
            Thompson Gunners          2

TEAM 601
Absolut Crap won 4 - 0.

FINAL SCORE:
Absolut Crap            12
Thompson Gunners   8

Highlights
We were very happy to win after allowing 16 points in two consecutive
matches.  This match was tied going into 601.  Nancy (74) and Marty (58)
connected on big outs to carry Crap.  Last night proved that being capable
of hitting your outs wins matches.  I had a couple of chances against
John and missed, but I think this was the only "01" game that we lost.

Bonus Points:
Marty led everyone with 5 (with two ton-twenties)
Andrew and Nancy had 2 apiece.
Brian notched 1.

We play the second-place Sudsuckers next week at the Hobbit, and hope to
continue our winning streak (1 game).

October 1, 1997

Crap sister-puckered the Sudsuckers last night in a come from behind 10-10 tie.
In the first game of a two game series, Crap managed a tie after falling behind 8-3.
Sudsuckers became duck-fart suckers, as they went to Buffalo Connection and
did shots after the singles matches. When they returned, they dropped 6 consecutive
points before winning one 601 game.

SINGLES
Andrew lost his 3rd singles match in a row, this time to Craig (2-0).
Marty was bad, bad - he lost to Leroy 2-1.
Brian showed no heart of a lion, losing to Leo 2-1.
Tara was unable to topple Eric, falling 2-1.

Singles Score: Absolut Crap 3
                         Sudsuckers 8

DOUBLES
Andrew and Nancy improved their doubles record to 4-0 winning 2-0.
Brian and Marty improved to 8-1, also winning 2-0.

Doubles Score: Absolut Crap 4
                           Sudsuckers 0

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 3 - 2.

FINAL SCORE: Absolut Crap 10
                              Sudsuckers 10

Highlights
Absolut Crap continued their stellar team play winning all the doubles matches and two of
three 601 games. We need to improve in singles (especially the captain). Nancy hit the
league's best out last night, and tied for the biggest out in Crap history. In doubles, we
were behind and in danger of losing our first game of the season - Sudsuckers were
about to shoot for their out, and we were left with 110. Nancy calmly hit a triple 20 with
her first dart, and a double bulls-eye with her second. She was careful not to stab
anyone with her third dart still in her hand.

Bonus Points:
Andrew had 4
Nancy had 2
Marty and Brian each had 1

Next week, it's game 2 of the series with the Sudsuckers, this time at Poor Paul's.

October 8, 1997

Absolut Crap took the fizz from the Sudsuckers last week, bottled it up, shook
it around, and sprayed it in their face last night at Poor Paul's.  In a close match,
Crap prevailed 10-9, winning both 601 games.  The second-placed Sudsuckers
will have to settle for a 0-1-1 record against Crap this season.  Andrew struggled
again in singles, but the rest of Crap were able to pick up his slack, and the brown
team marched to its fourth victory of the season.

SINGLES
Andrew lost his 4th singles match in a row, this time to Eric (2-1).
Brian went down there, but didn't best beware, and lost to Leroy 2-0.
Marty reaped my revenge, beating Craig 2-0.
It wasn't intimida"shon", nor was it domina "shon", but Nancy lost to
           the Cajun sharpshooter 2-1.

Singles Score: Absolut Crap 4
                         Sudsuckers 6

DOUBLES
It took everything that the poor-shooting Andrew and the rapidly-improving
            Tara had to defeat Leo and Eric 2-1.
Brian and Marty were swept by a good team, and fell to 8-3 on the season.

Doubles Score: Absolut Crap 2
                           Sudsuckers 3

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 4 - 0.

FINAL SCORE:   Absolut Crap 10
                                  Sudsuckers   9

Highlights
It seems that the team is finally starting to gel.  Even though their captain is in a
horrific slump - Brian, Marty, Nancy, and Tara have not tossed in the towel.
Marty, a decided underdog, was dominating in singles.  Brian came up huge
in the first 601 game doubling in and out, and hitting a ton along the way.
Tara threw very consistant darts in doubles, and Nancy made a good showing in
singles, and did hit that "HUGE" out last week.

Bonus Points:
Marty hit 3, including 3 bulls to win a singles game.
Brian had a pair of tons.
Andrew, Nancy, and Tara had 1 apiece.

Next week, we play Comforably Numb at Poor Paul's.  This could be the week that we make our move.

October 15, 1997

Although there wasn't a time when Crap was comfortably in the lead, they
beat Comfortably Numb last night at Poor Paul's.  The first game of 601 was
a perfect synopsis of the entire night for both teams.  Crap jumped out to a
very wide margin - doubling in and rolling to a 400 point lead.  Unfortunately,
we were unable to hit our out, and Numb worked their way down, and took
the out (after about 45 minutes).  Crap won the next two and edged their way to a
3-2 victory in 601.

SINGLES
I don't even want to talk about it.  Michelle won 2-1.  That's five consecutive.
Marty "lou"ses 2-0 to Lou.
Brian was our singles saviour stopping Sarah 2-0.
Tara started fast, then slid a little losing to Maryline 2-1.

Singles Score:         Absolut Crap   4
                     Comfortably Numb   6

DOUBLES
Andrew and Nancy extend their perfect doubles record to 6-0.
Brian and Marty won 2-1 in doubles.  This match was highlighted by an exciting
   cricket game where Brian and Marty scored over 300 points on bullseyes.

Doubles Score:      Absolut Crap     4
                     Comfortably Numb    1

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 3 - 2.

FINAL SCORE:       Absolut Crap     11
                            Comfortably Numb     9

Highlights
Crap is still winning by team efforts.  Last night Brian threw well, winning his
singles and doubling out in both 601 games that we won.  Nancy caught fire in
doubles cricket, hitting 2 four marks, and two of our needed bullseyes.  I think
Marty must have broken a Crap record for most bulls in one night (I'm still checking
the record books), Tara looked strong to start her singles match, and I hit
more bonus points than I have in a while.  Hopefully we can improve our
singles, and continue this winning streak.

Bonus Points:
Andrew had 7.
Marty hit 4, including 3Bulls twice.
Brian was able to get one.

Next week, we play our first ever match at Buckhead against 9MM.

October 22, 1997

In a night of Long Island Ice Teas, Southern Belles, and feminist meetings,
Absolut Crap extended their non-losing streak to 5 matches in a row.
Crap, who now assumes the nickname - 10 millimeter, beat 9 millimeter 10-9 at
Buckhead Brewery.  It was our first time at Buckhead, and we were concerned
at the outset if we were going to be able to play at all.  When we arrived, the
back room was occupied by 35-40 women.  We tried to sneak back a couple
of times, and were met by dirty looks from the congregation.  Finally, at 8, both
teams charged through like we owned the place and made ourselves at home.  It
turned out to be a very comforable place to play.

SINGLES
Andrew finally broke his losing streak, sweeping Rob.
Marty was "pooped" on by Bruce 2-0.
Brian leapfrogged Froggy 2-1.
Nancy fell to Dave in two close games.

Singles Score:         Absolut Crap   4
                                         9 MM   5

DOUBLES
Andrew and Tara lost a close match 2-1.
Brian and Marty dominated 2-0.

Doubles Score:      Absolut Crap     4
                                        9MM      0

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 3 - 2.

FINAL SCORE:       Absolut Crap     10
                                               9MM       9

Highlights
Crap keeps winning the close matches.  This should bode well when playoff
time comes.  Wait a minute, there are no playoffs!  We're screwed!  Actually
Crap extends their record to an impressive 6-3-1, and are slowly climbing the
standings ladder.  Tonight we owe our victory to the feminist group (I'm not
entirely sure that it was a feminist group, in fact I have no idea of the purpose
of their gathering) meeting at Buckhead.  Towards the end of the evening,
9MM became more interested in flirting with 3 or 4 of the group than playing
darts.  We were tied going into four-man, and were able to pull out the victory.

Bonus Points:
Andrew had 2.
Brian had 1.
That's it.

Next week, we play the  New York Strippers in "Revenge Match I".

October 29, 1997

Aw, Shuckers.  It seems obvious that former Crapsters, Eric and
Melissa, and the NY Strippers have our number.  In almost an
instant replay of an earlier match, the Strippers beat Absolut Crap
14-5 at Shuckers.

SINGLES
Andrew fell back to his losing ways,this time to Mike 2-1.
Marty was tonight's "big Crap", beating Jackie 2-0.
Brian was overcome by "The Runs", losing 2-0.
Tara fell in a close match to Stephanie 2-1.

Singles Score:         Absolut Crap   4
                               NY Strippers  6

DOUBLES
Andrew and Nancy lost their first game of the season 2-1.
Brian and Marty were dominated 2-0.

Doubles Score:      Absolut Crap     1
                               NY Strippers   4

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap lost 4-0.

FINAL SCORE:       Absolut Crap       5
                                    NY Strippers    14

Highlights
After all these consecutive weeks of playing good team darts, Crap shot like
crap in teams tonight.  Doubles and 601 buckled under the pressure of
playing a strong team.  On the bright side, both 601 games were down to
the wire, Marty played well in singles, and all Crapsters hit at least one bonus
point.  At this point, it seems that the cream of the league are Diamonds
in the Rough and the NY Strippers.  Crap does have a 6-4-1 record, but
can't score the big victory.  I guess we're just too nice.

Bonus Points:
Andrew had 5.
Marty and Tara had 2.
Brian and Nancy had 1.

Next week, we play the first placed "Diamonds in the Rough".

November 5, 1997

Last night at Salty Dawg, Absolut Crap, who failed miserably in Revenge
Match I, took on the first place Diamonds in the Rough in Revenge Match II..
Crap played respectably, and took the Diamond Ladies to the mat in a hard
fought 9-9 tie.

SINGLES
Andrew put a 'tearin' into Erin 2-1.
Marty looked a little 'lazy' losing to Tracey 2-0.
Brian made like an American against a 'Ruski' beating Duski 2-0.
Nancy was thinking about her teddy 'bear again' losing to Marilyn 2-0.

Singles Score:                   Absolut Crap   4
                          Diamonds in the Rough   5

DOUBLES
Andrew and Tara lost in two.
Brian and Marty won in two.

Doubles Score:                 Absolut Crap     2
                          Diamonds in the Rough     2

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 3-2.

FINAL SCORE:                 Absolut Crap       9
                               Diamonds in the Rough       9

Highlights
Crap almost let a very close match turn ugly in 601.  We were able
to stay within a point through singles and doubles, but lost the first
game of 601, finding ourselves down 9-6, and in danger of losing
11-6.  But Crap pulled together, winning the last two games to
salvage the tie.  The tie brings our record to 6-4-2, but still somewhere
in the lower tier of the standings.  However, it's encouraging that we
were in position to beat the 1st place team.  At this point in the season
we're playing the role of the spoiler, and looking for moral victories.
A final record of 8-4-2 wouldn't be bad either.

Bonus Points:
Brian had 4.
Andrew had 3.
Marty and Tara had 1.

Next week, we challenge <A HREF="http://magnet.fsu.edu/~djackson/thompson_gunners/roland.html">Thompson Gunners</a>.

November 12, 1997

Last night, Crap snatched the headless body of the Thompson Gunners,
slammed a dartboard across the exposed neck, and placed a very nice
fruit display on top.  Absolut Crap extended their record to 7-4-2 with a
victory over the Gunners 13-6.  Holding true to form, many games in this
blowout could have gone either way.  The Crapsters were able to win the
close ones, and many games that we were supposed to lose.

SINGLES
Andrew wins the battle 2-1, but loses the war to John (negative a few trophy
           points to negative a lot of trophy points) in B+  warfare.
Marty made a mound of Clay 2-0.
Brian was all over Greg like a barracuda 2-0 (kidding).
Tara fell in a close match with Damon 2-1.

Singles Score:                   Absolut Crap   7
                               Thompson Gunners   3

DOUBLES
Crap owned doubles!
Andrew and Nancy won two.
Brian and Marty won in two.

Doubles Score:                 Absolut Crap     4
                               Thompson Gunners     0

TEAM 601 Thompson Gunners won 3-2.

FINAL SCORE:                 Absolut Crap      13
                                    Thompson Gunners        6

Highlights
Last night was very encouraging for Crap as we prepare to close
out the season.  Most of this season, we've struggled in singles,
but salvaged victories in doubles and 601.  Against the Thompson
Gunners, we were able to dominate singles and doubles, losing
close in 601.  Even though most singles and doubles matches were
very close, Crap hit the darts that counted and held an 11-3 margin
going in to 4man.  In almost merciful fashion (after Crap won the 1st
game to extend the lead to 13-3) Crap was unable to close the last
two, and were happy to accept a 13-6 win.

Bonus Points:
Andrew had 5.
Brian had 4 for the 2nd week in a row.
Marty had 3.

Next week, we close the season against the Troubleshooters.

November 19, 1997

In the season finale, Absolut Crap with an outside chance at a top-3 finish,
had trouble shooting against the Trouble Shooters, and fell 11-8 in a match
that wasn't even as close as the score.  The Trouble Shooters who were
maligned throughout the season, and who had to forfeit last week,
showed dominance through much of the evening.  In fact, if it wasn't for the
fact that it was past the bedtime of half their team, it would have been much
worse.  The Shooters were able to atone for the defeat they suffered the
first week of the season.

SINGLES
Andrew was completely beaten by Josh on his 17th birthday, 2-0.
Marty continued his reign of bull-terror, but lost 2-1 to Dave.
Brian was able to win one game against Eddie.
Nancy lost to Jeannie in two.

Singles Score:                   Absolut Crap   2
                                  Trouble Shooters    3

DOUBLES
Andrew and Tara won 2-1.
Brian and Marty were swept.

Doubles Score:                 Absolut Crap     2
                                  Trouble Shooters     3

TEAM 601 Absolut Crap won 4-0.

FINAL SCORE:                 Absolut Crap        8
                                        Trouble Shooters      11

Highlights
Thanks to Brian hitting both outs in the 601 game, along with
Andrew & Tara winning in doubles, we were able to lose
respectably.  The loss ends a tumultuous season where Crap
was blown out 3 times, but won 7 times.  Crap ended the season
with a 7-5-2 record.  The record was near the top in the league,
but the blowouts killed any chance at a trophy.  Crap remains
positive after the Fall season, and looks forward to the Spring,
1998 campaign.  None of us should see our ranks change drastically,
therefore assuring our placement in the lower division again.
Hopefully, we can obtain better results.

Bonus Points:
Andrew had 3.
Marty had 2.
Brian had 1.

See you next season (1st part of January).

THE END.